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Monday, February 23, 2009

It Doesn't Matter Who Gets There First

Thursday night Dave and I went to a Toilet Learning class. It was actually very informative and I am glad we went. So many people put so much stress on toilet training / learning, but seriously your kid will go potty on the toilet. Maybe not when you are ready for them to, but when they are ready, they will. I think that people / moms get so freaked out or stressed out by other moms. They start worrying that their child should be potty trained or isn't on target with development. You know what, who cares? It doesn't matter who gets there first. It doesn't matter if your child or my child speaks first, walks first, potty trains first, etc. It doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things. Just because someone does something first, doesn't mean they are better at it. It doesn't mean anything. Seriously, who is going to remember who did what first in a few years? The other thing is that when a child does potty train (and learn many other things), it is the child's success not the parent's or mom's. I think many moms think that if their kid does something first, it means they are great parents. Not so much. Your child just learned it first. That's it.

The class just talked about waiting until your child is ready and not trying to make your child ready. They gave ways to know your child is ready and tips on how to prepare your child. It was such a helpful class and really took the stress out of it. Kaitlynn will toilet learn when she is ready. No hurry.


Two Lines On a Stick said...

That sounds like a good class, I kind of wish we had taken it! There does seem to be a ridiculous amount of pressure to potty train. I am content with letting Bailey go potty when she wants to, and avoid it when she's not interested. In some ways it is easier to just have them in diapers, trust me I know that from nannying a child before potty training and then after!

Donna said...

I agree! I laughed when I read your line about how if your child does it first it doesn't mean they are better at it. LOL..can you imagine this discussion between kids, "I pooped better than you did." LOL!

My son was 3 1/2 before he was completely potty trained and I remember family members making comments like, "Well, he's a little old to be wearing diapers! Little Johnny was potty trained at 18 months!"....Good for little Johnny, you are still no better or worse than I am as a parent!

I understand that we are proud of what our children accomplish, and want to share those acomplishments with others. GREAT..but don't make negative remarks about other children while bragging about your own!

MMP79 said...

It never stops. When they get older it becomes, "Well, Johnny is reading at a 5th grade reading level." I definitely had to learn patience with the potty training thing with Corbin. That kid was fine sitting in a wet or dirty diaper. But I knew it wasn't like he would go to kindergarten wearing a diaper. Once he was ready, he was out of diapers within a week.

MMP79 said...

Okay, I posted around the same time as Donna and am now laughing. What is it about the name Johnny? :)

Brimful Curiosities said...

My daughter was a little over 3 when we went through with the training. She was completely trained in a week. I waited until after her brother was born.

A Modern Mother said...

I was very laid back about it, but you are right, they do it when THEY are ready (not you).

The Mother said...

Probably a wise approach. Not the one I chose, however.

I have four boys, not one of which had the slightest interest in bothering with potty training. By three and a half, I had pretty much had it with wiping their asses.

I shipped them off to grandma's house, and they came back trained in a week.